GEOGRAPHER, n.
A chap who can tell you offhand the difference between the outside of the world and the inside.
Habeam, geographer of wide reknown, Native of Abu-Keber's ancient town, In passing thence along the river Zam To the adjacent village of Xelam, Bewildered by the multitude of roads, Got lost, lived long on migratory toads, Then from exposure miserably died, And grateful travelers bewailed their guide.
Henry Haukhorn
--Ambrose Bierce - The Devil's Dictionary