Dilbert: You know my life is an endless string of useless tasks orchestrated by idiots.

Dilbert: The long hours of work are taking a toll on my body. Can I take some time off for my health? Boss: That would defeat the whole point of being an employee. You are supposed to be trading your health and happiness for money. Then you give that money to your family and watch them spend it while you eat yourself to death. It's a circle of life sort of thing.

Sometimes when life fucks you up, all you have to do is just to fake an orgasm.

It's a hard life if you don't weaken.

There are always worse things waiting. You think you have seen the most terrible thing, the one that coalesces all your nightmares into a freakish horror that actually exists, and the only consolation is that there can be nothing worse. Even if there is, your mind will snap at the sight of it, and you will know no more. But there is worse, your mind does not snap, and somehow you carry on. You might understand that all the joy has gone out of the world for you, you might wish you were the one who was dead - but you go on. You might realize that you are in a hell of your own making, but you go on nevertheless. Because there is nothing else to do.

Each life makes its own imitation of immortality.

You have to live where you wake up, even if somebody else dreamed you there.

Before sex...
you help each other to get naked,
after sex...
you only dress yourself.

Moral of this story:
in life no one helps you once you're fucked.

life asked death:
"Why do people love me
but hate you?"
death responded:
"Because you are a
beautiful lie
and I am a
painful truth."

Excuse me, which level of hell is this?

Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans.

A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay. We live in daily apprehension of its loss; yet when lost it is not missed. The question, "Is life worth living?" has been much discussed; particularly by those who think it is not, many of whom have written at great length in support of their view and by careful observance of the laws of health enjoyed for long terms of years the honors of successful controversy.

"Life's not worth living, and that's the truth,"
Carelessly caroled the golden youth.
In manhood still he maintained that view
And held it more strongly the older he grew.
When kicked by a jackass at eighty-three,
"Go fetch me a surgeon at once!" cried he.

Han Soper

Her philosophy of life was that she might die at any moment. The tragedy, she said, was that she didn't.