Those who think women are not leaders are not married.

Before marriage she does everything to get his love. After marriage she does everything to test his love.

Men marry because they are tired, women, because they are curious: both are disappointed.

My son asked me how is it to be married.

I told him to imagine free ice cream of all sorts on every corner, but he can only have the old diet one at home he liked 10 years ago and only once all homeworks and his room cleaning is done.

The three rings of marriage for men:

1. Engagement ring
2. Wedding ring
3. Suffering

If love is blind and marriage is an institution, then it is an institution for the blind.

Guys, if you ever wanna know how scented toilet paper can ruin a woman's entire life, go ahead and get married.

Before I got married I didn't even know there was a wrong way to put the milk back in the fridge.

The Mrs and I have been married so long she can finish my sentences. She also starts most of them and supplies the middle parts too.

Getting married is like getting a tattoo. It seems like a good idea at the time...

I folded a towel wrong once. I'm single now.

I didn't find out what happiness means until I got married... and then it was too late.

Marriage is a bond made of three rings - the engagement ring, the wedding ring and the suffering.

Q: You know why divorce is so expensive?

A: Because it's worth it.

Q: You know why married men die first?

A: Because they want to.

Q: Daddy, what happens when we die?

A: You get married and have kids

My son asked what it is like to be married, so I deleted all the music on his ipod except 1 song.

Marriage is not supposed to make you happy. It is supposed to make you married.

Marriage consists of a union between, two people, each wishing for something that could never happen with someone who doesn't exist.

Marriage is a compound word combining "mar" and "I rage". It is not a word, but a sentence. It's also a synonym of torture and Government Conspiracy.

Founding insight of modern marriage: the best chance for a relationship is to make it hard to get out of it.

Marriage ceremony: a couple making hopeful vows on behalf of two people they don't yet know.

For many, the point of marriage isn't so much to be in love as to stop having to think of love.

Marriage isn't a vow to stop being interested in other people; more about how to handle that interest.

A man with a good wife is the luckiest of God's creatures...

Every marriage has two hearts, one light and one dark.

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.

A second marriage is the triumph of optimism over experience.

The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two slaves, making in all, two.