PIE, n.

An advance agent of the reaper whose name is Indigestion.

Cold pie was highly esteemed by the remains.

Rev. Dr. Mucker

(in a funeral sermon over a British nobleman)

Cold pie is a detestable
American comestible.
That's why I'm done--or undone--
So far from that dear London.

(from the headstone of a British nobleman in Kalamazoo)